If you thought the 2024 Reds were going to slink quietly back to their Ferraris, sons and daughters, you’ve got it all wrong.
Team manager David Bell was fired this weekend, and the report was kind of like finding out that Florida leads the nation in prisoners serving for life without parole –shock regarding far-reaching implications, but zero surprise that it happened.
To adapt a running political punchline from two decades ago, I question the timing. This little info bomb detonated in the media’s deepest possible Nothing To See Here slot, late on a Sunday evening.
The Number of Bells
Here’s the really interesting part, as if suddenly streamlining the total number of Bells currently working for the Cincinnati Reds wasn’t enough: This front office shoveled an awful lot of dirt on top of a press release it apparently wanted to memory hole.
The press release arrived several hours after the last out against the Pirates. The city was already distracted with reports that former Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton was seen on national television, in an actual NFL game, throwing an actual football to actual receivers and not even once stopping by the sidelines for infusions of blood harvested from kindergarteners.
Blockbuster
Given that Dalton– unlike every other rostered person in the NFL– can claim to have once held a Blockbuster card, this information was uplifting but not a little confusing, especially considering that most of the city had long since considered him banished to Football Siberia, never to be heard from again except perhaps as a color commentator for the St. Margaret of York 5th grade season opener. (If your response is that Dalton has in his possession a perfectly respectable contract with the Carolina Panthers, my reply to your response is: Exactly. Siberia.)
The Bengals are also poised to play Monday Night Football tomorrow, which, unlike in other cities, is cause here for fear and loathing. Other cities excitedly light up the skyline, sweep the homeless out of the stadium overshot radius, and excitedly look forward to seeing City Landmark and mentions of Famous Local Food. We just clench down and pray for a stay of humiliation.
Curious Timing
So we were preoccupied, having firmly filed the Reds under our eternal Complain About It Later folder, given that they were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs in July and headed out of town anyway.
The news came so late after tonight’s game that just about the only extensive player interview the local news could rustle up was with a stunned and sweating T.J. Friedl, who looked as if he just learned his class had gotten a substitute teacher for the day and that sub was the principal.
Could Be
It was a curious time to roll Bell’s head. Was management hoping we wouldn’t notice and cheerfully applaud some new guy when he magically appeared on the Goodyear turf in February? “…Who’s that?” “Don’t know! But he’s going to be great!” We’re sidetracked, not stupid.
As of this moment–Childless Freelance Writer O’Clock in the morning– the team’s X account is empty of news except for the sad score of last night’s game, preceded by a shot of a grim-looking Jay Bruce. (Hmmm…)
Either this happened after the Zoomer marketing intern was sent home or the front office is still sorting out how to frame this in 280 characters. Could be both.
Could be neither.
Could be just another inscrutable decision from the front office of the postmodern Cincinnati Reds, which of course means it’s not news at all.
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